FTJ: 27-8-08

(NOTE: Here's where things get iffy.) What's going on in my head is driving me crazy. When I think, I hear the English and the Spanish at the same time. Every days it's even harder to understand my thoughts. I don't know anymore if I'm thinking in Spanish and translating to English, or thinking in English and translating to Spanish. I want to think in Spanish, because to think is to know, but there is a small voice in my head saying, "No! No! Stop it!" when a Spanish word croses my mind. But against the wishes of the voice, it's happening. My memories aren't sacred. I think of a time with my dad when I was nine, and he speaks and the words are in Spanish. The voice rebels, but it can't stop it.

There is a war in my mind between Spanish and English, and I don't know which is going to win. I hope, I wish that I could use both, but I don't know. I don't know.

Today was very normal, or what I think to be normal after four days in Ibarra. It seems to me that I always get up at eight. I woke up this morning and thought, "It's ten, nine at the earliest." But no, eight.

In the afternoon, I always go with Anita to the Pizzeria in Atuntaqui (NOTE: It really is Atuntaqui, I finally figured it out.), and I spend in hour in the internet shop, reading articles from CNN and Electoral-Vote.com. The election interests both me and the people here in Ecuador a lot. Anita told me that she has a daughter in the US as an immigrant, and if Obama doesn't win, she will have to return to Ecuador. Something to do with getting visas and whatnot. There is CNN in Spanish here, and I watched a little of Joe Biden's speech. He talked very well. He will be a good vice president for Obama. (NOTE: I just learned that Joe Biden is anti-peer-to-peer sharing. He just lost my vote. Not that I have a vote. And I still support Obama. Just not Joe "Obey the Law" Biden. Punk.) I also read Hillary Clinton and John Kerry's speeches. Hillary Clinton's was perfect. She said "Obama and I are the same. Are you all that are going to vote for McCain stupid or something?" (NOTE: I'm paraphrasing.)

I'm going to watch CNN more. It makes me happy that they have CNN here.

298 more days.